godnix (greyfeld) wrote,

digging up old notebooks

From the archive. Comments on any of these cryptic remarks are welcome below or, if you prefer, over here

“Reflections 5-7-95”

The various manifestations of what I have called the non-stop mystical experience continue.

In every place the main question is how to combine, and in what precise alchemical proportion, the ingredients necessary to a full life – that is to say – such things as truthfulness, responsibility, good business sense, and proper social form.

Both the wolf and the lamb shall lie down together.

The acknowledgment of sin is the first step on the way to holiness. We present ourselves to God “just as I am, without one plea” — hiding nothing, making no excuses. Those personality traits that we would cover over or suppress such as anger, laziness, and the like, are also to be sanctified. The problem with St. Augustine’s conception of sin is his insistence on identifying it with the involuntary urges of the body — because these also are subject to that integrating process known as conforming to the will of God.

The search for integrity involves quite a bit of work. Humor greases the wheels of this mechanism.

In the sense that I am using the term, integrity is not unrelated in its essence to reconciliation — one having an internal and the other an external aspect.

There is perhaps no end to the search. The seeking is finding, after all.

[one year later, more or less]

1. Reactive consciousness. Distracting. Mostly useless.

2. There is only one conversation, really.

3. Persons who find themselves capable of discussing the non-stop mystical experience bring to the discussion a high level of openness and trust which allows them the freedom also to describe a miscellany of experiences and insights that most people – most of the time – are wise enough to keep quiet about, or even deny altogether. This is how mysticism gets a bad name.

4. Despite the appearance created by this phenomenon, what mysticism is actually about is the perception of ordinary reality.

5. Everything in particular is a hologram of the universe – a fractal structure. Understanding is merely a matter of resolution enhancement. [This is presented as a metaphysical hypothesis. Its adoption as dogma should be suspended pending technical review.]

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